Ok. This post is not directed to any country or race so i've crossed out the country of origin of this incoming student's father.
They walked into the office and the father introduced his son as an incoming student from XXX. This was how the conversation went. I wish I could express the look on my face and the accent to you in person. Perhaps those who know me, the next time we meet, i shall do just that.
Father: Excuse me, this is my son. We are from XXX and he is starting school in August. We have just finished out medical examination earlier on but want to find out where we can deposit our pee.
*Shocked look on my face. Stared at his in disbelief." "Huh" (Me)
Father: Yes, we applied the tuition grant already and the tuition pee loan. Now we need to know how much pee to pay.
*Stunned*
Monday, July 23, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
we are the police station
OMG. Guess what?
My colleague knows exactly who the emailer was talking about!!!!
We ARE a police station!!!!
OMG
My colleague knows exactly who the emailer was talking about!!!!
We ARE a police station!!!!
OMG
we are not the police station
The things that happen to me nowadays... tsk tsk tsk... can write a book liao.
I just received an email from somebody looking for her library book. Read and think: Does she really think we'll be able to help her locate that person in the midst of the thousands of students we have in the uni?????
Hello there
I'm afraid i face a slight problem and need your help.
I lent a book from the (Institution) Library to a stranger in need around the (date), and the library threatens me that the book is due in a week. Only the foolish are generous, as the wise old men say, and this time the old bats must be correct, for I failed to remember his name that i may contact him when the book was due. I'm sure the fellow has immersed himself in cosmological affairs long enough to have forgotten that the book will be due soon, and I face a problem contacting him.
Could you please help? He mentioned that he was going to write the (some exam), and since people in (Institution) only write the (some entrance exam) for one reason, i'm hoping that you have an account with his details under it, most importantly a phone number and address (I will now proceed to embarrass myself highly by letting you know that i never bothered to take his number or e-mail down).
To help locate his account, I managed to garner the following from memory:
1) He is short, equal to or over 5'7", with short cropped hair almost as in a crew cut. For two days in a row he specialized in wearing loose little sleeveless vests, but they are not singlets. He also specializes in wearing three-quarters, the ones i saw were grey in colour on both the days i saw him. Being a Chinese National living in Singapore, he always wore sneakers, and i suppose also always wears them. As expected of those who immerse themselves in Deep Cosmology, he wears spectacles. He is a thin, lanky fellow with a grim (but not sad) Chinese face.
2)He is a Chinese National who at the time of our meeting was going to write the (some entrance exam). He also possessed a student card, which made me wonder why he was studying for the (some entrance exam). One possible logical explanation is that the card belonged to someone else, though i quite clearly remember his face on the card. Assuming that was his face on the card, would it be possible to track him down through his distinguishing feature, given #3 below?
3)His distinguishing feature, and also the reason why i remember his face so well, is that his face appears as if a million bees had decided to sting it all at once. There are reddish pink bumps all over his face, and although i don't know what could have caused these specifically it is very likely that it is the result of an allergic reaction. This is his unique, one-of-a-kind feature which none of the other students have which i hope will help identify and locate him best.
I'm afraid there isn't much else i remember of the fellow, and I do hope that the information above, though not enough, will help track him down.
Thank you very much in advance for your help. I will try and see if i can dig up anything else from memory. Please let me know if you need any more information from me to help track him down, and i will gladly provide such.
Hope to hear from your soon,
Regards
DAKJEIUHFRLIEFHNRF
So am i a police database now? Shucks. She'll have better luck at the police station. At least she can do an identity kit to be posted all over the Institution!
I just received an email from somebody looking for her library book. Read and think: Does she really think we'll be able to help her locate that person in the midst of the thousands of students we have in the uni?????
Hello there
I'm afraid i face a slight problem and need your help.
I lent a book from the (Institution) Library to a stranger in need around the (date), and the library threatens me that the book is due in a week. Only the foolish are generous, as the wise old men say, and this time the old bats must be correct, for I failed to remember his name that i may contact him when the book was due. I'm sure the fellow has immersed himself in cosmological affairs long enough to have forgotten that the book will be due soon, and I face a problem contacting him.
Could you please help? He mentioned that he was going to write the (some exam), and since people in (Institution) only write the (some entrance exam) for one reason, i'm hoping that you have an account with his details under it, most importantly a phone number and address (I will now proceed to embarrass myself highly by letting you know that i never bothered to take his number or e-mail down).
To help locate his account, I managed to garner the following from memory:
1) He is short, equal to or over 5'7", with short cropped hair almost as in a crew cut. For two days in a row he specialized in wearing loose little sleeveless vests, but they are not singlets. He also specializes in wearing three-quarters, the ones i saw were grey in colour on both the days i saw him. Being a Chinese National living in Singapore, he always wore sneakers, and i suppose also always wears them. As expected of those who immerse themselves in Deep Cosmology, he wears spectacles. He is a thin, lanky fellow with a grim (but not sad) Chinese face.
2)He is a Chinese National who at the time of our meeting was going to write the (some entrance exam). He also possessed a student card, which made me wonder why he was studying for the (some entrance exam). One possible logical explanation is that the card belonged to someone else, though i quite clearly remember his face on the card. Assuming that was his face on the card, would it be possible to track him down through his distinguishing feature, given #3 below?
3)His distinguishing feature, and also the reason why i remember his face so well, is that his face appears as if a million bees had decided to sting it all at once. There are reddish pink bumps all over his face, and although i don't know what could have caused these specifically it is very likely that it is the result of an allergic reaction. This is his unique, one-of-a-kind feature which none of the other students have which i hope will help identify and locate him best.
I'm afraid there isn't much else i remember of the fellow, and I do hope that the information above, though not enough, will help track him down.
Thank you very much in advance for your help. I will try and see if i can dig up anything else from memory. Please let me know if you need any more information from me to help track him down, and i will gladly provide such.
Hope to hear from your soon,
Regards
DAKJEIUHFRLIEFHNRF
So am i a police database now? Shucks. She'll have better luck at the police station. At least she can do an identity kit to be posted all over the Institution!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
weird things happen in pairs
Ok. Dun worry, I didn't see the same lady again. But yesterday was a day full of weirdos, at least when it is daylight.
Anyway, it was lunch. My fren and I was having subway and out of the corner of my eye i saw 3 ladies walking by the sidewalk, talking really happily. Suddenly, i caught sight of a skinny lady on a bicycle, with a HUGE cardboard box behind her.
The lady cycled next to the 3 ladies and suddenly swerved in to grab on of the ladies in the neck. As quickly as she grabbed, she also let go and stood there on her bicycle staring at them. My initial thought was they were frens (u know how frens like to shock other frens to strengthen their relationships? Heh.)
So anyway, one of the other gals asked the lady on the bicycle wat her problem was. She mumbled something, they shouted something, then she quickly cycled away.
After she left, the gal who got grabbed told her frens that the crazy lady grabbed her (DUH, a lil too late right!) and by the time one of her very alert (so alert that they din even know the lady grabbed the fren's neck) tried to 'bravely' to chase the woman, she was gone!
How interesting.
Anyway, it was lunch. My fren and I was having subway and out of the corner of my eye i saw 3 ladies walking by the sidewalk, talking really happily. Suddenly, i caught sight of a skinny lady on a bicycle, with a HUGE cardboard box behind her.
The lady cycled next to the 3 ladies and suddenly swerved in to grab on of the ladies in the neck. As quickly as she grabbed, she also let go and stood there on her bicycle staring at them. My initial thought was they were frens (u know how frens like to shock other frens to strengthen their relationships? Heh.)
So anyway, one of the other gals asked the lady on the bicycle wat her problem was. She mumbled something, they shouted something, then she quickly cycled away.
After she left, the gal who got grabbed told her frens that the crazy lady grabbed her (DUH, a lil too late right!) and by the time one of her very alert (so alert that they din even know the lady grabbed the fren's neck) tried to 'bravely' to chase the woman, she was gone!
How interesting.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Some people have all the patience
Ok. I was on the train to work this morning and I saw probably the most PATIENT (or at least the most stoned) gal I have ever seen in my ENTIRE life!
What happened was this:
There was this old lady sitting next to her. That corner of the train only has two seats. I didn't notice this old lady until i had the 'opportunity' to move in to the train as it was pretty packed. I was happily listening to the radio when i dunno how come, but i just turned my attention to this lady.
She was dressed unlike any old grannys u will see around Singapore. She's in her sports shoe, really short shorts and some top lah.
Anyway, this granny was talking and talking and talking non-stop! So i wanted to catch a glimpse of the person she was (or seemed) to be having such an interesting conversation with. I saw a gal (probably in her early 20s) next to her reading a book and paying no attention to the granny. I was thinking, must be another rude lil teenager whose when the granny nags just ignores.
So i took off my headphones and listened (yes, travelling to work is SOOOO much fun!). Whoa, actually, the granny was just rambling on and on and on. I came to a conclusion that they must not know each other.
The gal was still calmly reading her book and paying NO heed to the granny. i checked-- NO headphones. OMG.
Throughout the whole journey, the granny's mouth was non-stop talking (GOD, Please dun let me be like this when I grow older) while the gal just continued reading her book, as tho it was as silent as the library. As i stared more and more (i cannot help it lah!) more ppl noticed the granny and the gal too! LOL so they started staring too!
When I got off, it was still the same situation! U know wat? The few moments that i took off my headphones, i already cannot stand the noise the granny was making. And i wasn't even sitting next to her.
That gal is AMAZING. If i were her, i'd probably ask the granny to shut the f888 up, not that the granny would stop coz i think she's a lil cuckoo. I think I'll probably get up and squeeze thru the crowd to the next cabin just to get away from "Super Mouth Granny"!
Kudos to that gal. Must be all the training of ignoring her mom's nagging that helped in the end!
What happened was this:
There was this old lady sitting next to her. That corner of the train only has two seats. I didn't notice this old lady until i had the 'opportunity' to move in to the train as it was pretty packed. I was happily listening to the radio when i dunno how come, but i just turned my attention to this lady.
She was dressed unlike any old grannys u will see around Singapore. She's in her sports shoe, really short shorts and some top lah.
Anyway, this granny was talking and talking and talking non-stop! So i wanted to catch a glimpse of the person she was (or seemed) to be having such an interesting conversation with. I saw a gal (probably in her early 20s) next to her reading a book and paying no attention to the granny. I was thinking, must be another rude lil teenager whose when the granny nags just ignores.
So i took off my headphones and listened (yes, travelling to work is SOOOO much fun!). Whoa, actually, the granny was just rambling on and on and on. I came to a conclusion that they must not know each other.
The gal was still calmly reading her book and paying NO heed to the granny. i checked-- NO headphones. OMG.
Throughout the whole journey, the granny's mouth was non-stop talking (GOD, Please dun let me be like this when I grow older) while the gal just continued reading her book, as tho it was as silent as the library. As i stared more and more (i cannot help it lah!) more ppl noticed the granny and the gal too! LOL so they started staring too!
When I got off, it was still the same situation! U know wat? The few moments that i took off my headphones, i already cannot stand the noise the granny was making. And i wasn't even sitting next to her.
That gal is AMAZING. If i were her, i'd probably ask the granny to shut the f888 up, not that the granny would stop coz i think she's a lil cuckoo. I think I'll probably get up and squeeze thru the crowd to the next cabin just to get away from "Super Mouth Granny"!
Kudos to that gal. Must be all the training of ignoring her mom's nagging that helped in the end!
Idiot who can't see her own mistake
The following is a dumb shit that I had to deal with for arranging an appointment with a business partner from her country. We have an office there to help us coordinate stuff.
Names below are fabricated to conceal their identities. Let's not humiliate them to the max, shall we?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007 4:04 PM
To: [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]; Orbin
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi [colleague]
It`s ok for Phoenix to have dinner on 1 Aug. Her schedule is from 30 July to 2 Aug. She will live at [some hotel]. Her contact number is +** ***********.
Hope the above clarifies.
Best regards,
Sugar
----- Original Message -----
From: Orbin
To: 'sugar' ; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007 4:45 PM
Subject: RE: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Sugar,
Thank you for sounding Phoenix out for the dinner on 1 Aug. Please confirm with her the dinner appointment. We will be choosing a Chinese/seafood restaurant that is situated close to her hotel so it will be convenient for her. The venue will be confirmed when we arrived in [my next business trip destination] so we can scout for a dinner place. We hope to meet her at the [business premises/office] and proceed to the dinner together.
Thank you and best regards,
Orbin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 2:34 PM
To: Orbin; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Orbin
Okay, Phoenix will go for the invitation on Aug. 2. Since you have got her mobile phone no., you can contact her to remind her at that time. Then you can talk to her on site.
If have any questions, pls contact me again.
Best regards,
Sugar
----- Original Message -----
From: Orbin
To: 'Sugar' ; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 3:17 PM
Subject: RE: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Sugar,
Thanks for the arrangement. May I confirm with you that the dinner will be on 1 Aug, and not 2 Aug as mentioned in your previous email?
Best regards,
Orbin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 4:58 PM
To: Orbin; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Orbin
I just mentioned that her schedule would be 30/07-02/08.
It`s okay for dinner at 1 Aug, she has confirmed.
Hope the above clarifies.
Best regards,
Sugar
----- Original Message -----
From: Orbin
To: 'Sugar' ; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 5:22 PM
Subject: RE: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Sugar,
Thanks for confirming. If you were to refer to your earlier email, you mentioned “Okay, Phoenix will go for the invitation on Aug. 2.”, and that was why I needed to reaffirm the date.
Hope that clarifies.
Thanks and regards,
Orbin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 5:41 PM
To: Orbin; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
sorry, I found the mistake. Thanks.
Best regards,
Sugar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice how abrupt her apology is when she realised it was her mistake? I can accept an honest mistake, but I cannot accept idiots who refused to admit to their mistakes and can still lie blatantly.
"Sorry, I found the mistake?" And "Thanks"?
What a dumb fool.
P.S. I'm sure everyone can tell how good her writing skills are too.
And they dare to call me Orbin!
Names below are fabricated to conceal their identities. Let's not humiliate them to the max, shall we?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007 4:04 PM
To: [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]; Orbin
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi [colleague]
It`s ok for Phoenix to have dinner on 1 Aug. Her schedule is from 30 July to 2 Aug. She will live at [some hotel]. Her contact number is +** ***********.
Hope the above clarifies.
Best regards,
Sugar
----- Original Message -----
From: Orbin
To: 'sugar' ; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007 4:45 PM
Subject: RE: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Sugar,
Thank you for sounding Phoenix out for the dinner on 1 Aug. Please confirm with her the dinner appointment. We will be choosing a Chinese/seafood restaurant that is situated close to her hotel so it will be convenient for her. The venue will be confirmed when we arrived in [my next business trip destination] so we can scout for a dinner place. We hope to meet her at the [business premises/office] and proceed to the dinner together.
Thank you and best regards,
Orbin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 2:34 PM
To: Orbin; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Orbin
Okay, Phoenix will go for the invitation on Aug. 2. Since you have got her mobile phone no., you can contact her to remind her at that time. Then you can talk to her on site.
If have any questions, pls contact me again.
Best regards,
Sugar
----- Original Message -----
From: Orbin
To: 'Sugar' ; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 3:17 PM
Subject: RE: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Sugar,
Thanks for the arrangement. May I confirm with you that the dinner will be on 1 Aug, and not 2 Aug as mentioned in your previous email?
Best regards,
Orbin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 4:58 PM
To: Orbin; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Orbin
I just mentioned that her schedule would be 30/07-02/08.
It`s okay for dinner at 1 Aug, she has confirmed.
Hope the above clarifies.
Best regards,
Sugar
----- Original Message -----
From: Orbin
To: 'Sugar' ; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 5:22 PM
Subject: RE: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
Hi Sugar,
Thanks for confirming. If you were to refer to your earlier email, you mentioned “Okay, Phoenix will go for the invitation on Aug. 2.”, and that was why I needed to reaffirm the date.
Hope that clarifies.
Thanks and regards,
Orbin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sugar
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 5:41 PM
To: Orbin; [colleague]
Cc: [my manager]
Subject: Re: Dinner appointment with Phoenix, [some important] Asscoiation
sorry, I found the mistake. Thanks.
Best regards,
Sugar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice how abrupt her apology is when she realised it was her mistake? I can accept an honest mistake, but I cannot accept idiots who refused to admit to their mistakes and can still lie blatantly.
"Sorry, I found the mistake?" And "Thanks"?
What a dumb fool.
P.S. I'm sure everyone can tell how good her writing skills are too.
And they dare to call me Orbin!
I'm not a dog, bitch!
I really cannot stand my office receptionist any longer.
She acts as if she's some kind of big f*** in the office, and acting as the watchdog for the HR department thinking she's some kind of prefect in school. She must have been a poor pathetic student back then, getting back at whoever she could right now.
No wonder she's an outcast here.
Anyway, I hate it everytime she does that stupid, disgusting whistle whenever she leaves me my mail on my in-tray. You know, the kind you use on dogs? *Pwee pwee* come get your food, *pwee pwee* go fetch, that kind of whistle???
It irks me, you damn shit!
Stop it before I really start treating you like a dog.
And they dare to call me Orbin! Hrmp!
She acts as if she's some kind of big f*** in the office, and acting as the watchdog for the HR department thinking she's some kind of prefect in school. She must have been a poor pathetic student back then, getting back at whoever she could right now.
No wonder she's an outcast here.
Anyway, I hate it everytime she does that stupid, disgusting whistle whenever she leaves me my mail on my in-tray. You know, the kind you use on dogs? *Pwee pwee* come get your food, *pwee pwee* go fetch, that kind of whistle???
It irks me, you damn shit!
Stop it before I really start treating you like a dog.
And they dare to call me Orbin! Hrmp!
Monday, July 2, 2007
When will this end?
Upon advice from my superior, i stopped replying the African after that last plea by the name of Jesus Christ.
Ever since then, he still sends that same email over and over again. It doesn't stop does it.
Today, he is a lil more innovative. He sends a msg with some portion that belonged to the first email and the second email. HOW interesting.
Ok, i know u'll get tired of reading about this (just like i'm tired of getting his STUPID emails) but i promise this will be the last post, unless he does anything interesting. hehehe
Hi Miss Admissions Officer
Please, am still pleading with you in thy name of Jesus Christ to re consider my admission.
However, think of the timeless, money, patience and I decided to go through because of SMU as my choice of University.
No other Universities can offer my vision and my dreams carreer as your institution, so pleae clearify my admission.
I want to paticipated the next matriculation for 2007 seasion.
For God sake, approve my stand within the few days ahead.
May God bless you,
Felix
Eeee. I dun NEED his wish of blessing. EEEEEEE I'd rather he just leave me alone.
Ever since then, he still sends that same email over and over again. It doesn't stop does it.
Today, he is a lil more innovative. He sends a msg with some portion that belonged to the first email and the second email. HOW interesting.
Ok, i know u'll get tired of reading about this (just like i'm tired of getting his STUPID emails) but i promise this will be the last post, unless he does anything interesting. hehehe
Hi Miss Admissions Officer
Please, am still pleading with you in thy name of Jesus Christ to re consider my admission.
However, think of the timeless, money, patience and I decided to go through because of SMU as my choice of University.
No other Universities can offer my vision and my dreams carreer as your institution, so pleae clearify my admission.
I want to paticipated the next matriculation for 2007 seasion.
For God sake, approve my stand within the few days ahead.
May God bless you,
Felix
Eeee. I dun NEED his wish of blessing. EEEEEEE I'd rather he just leave me alone.
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